What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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I named my son ps2 controller

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops