why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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