Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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