What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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