What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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