A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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