There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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KOOKABURRA

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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