Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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