A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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What's big and long? My dick.

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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