A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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