You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops