I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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black people

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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