POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

"Knock knock" Come in!

And Stephen Hawking said.

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

wanna hear a joke? i dont

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

The New York Giants

whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

whats white jizz

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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