What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Did you know? . You already know!

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops