What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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