so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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Women's rights

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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