A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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