What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops