There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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