What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops