I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

Many people protest. they go home after a few hours

What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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