What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Smelly Indians.

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...