Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Bob Saget

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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