What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Matthew Baker

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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