Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than school...wait a minute?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops