Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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