Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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