How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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