Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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what's up? my penis.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops