How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Thats what she said

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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