- Anti Joke

what's worse then a blowjob?

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

Want to here a joke? Me to...

69

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

burn baby burn your nanas burning

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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