Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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