Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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NASCAR

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops