Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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