Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops