Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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black people

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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