How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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a man makes a bad joke

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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