My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the jewish boy afraid of ovens? because he developed an irrational fear of kitchen appliances. he would later, as an adult seek counseling and overcome his fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops