Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops