Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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