What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

whats black and large -me

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

im gay

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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