A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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The Labour Party.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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Why didn't he finish his

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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