A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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