A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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A bar walks into a man

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Click here to end the world.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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