roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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dead dibbs

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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deez nuts

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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