What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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