What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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