How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Swag.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Why did? Yes

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops