roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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* anti-punchline

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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