How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Equal rights!

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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Chris is hairy

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops