How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops