A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

God wrote this joke.................................

Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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