- Anti Joke

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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