a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

baskets

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is funnier than 24 69

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ready for something funny? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops