Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops