whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

thumb_up thumb_down -22

9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wigan.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm 23, just like most people my age.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops