Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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