how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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A dyslexic blind man

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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uas;ugbasrG "khVESGF;OQWAEFH;OASEHFO;SAEFUASUusa;uefSOEHFSOEHDF;oasehf;oasehf;uoashvo;uasfo'H EF;owefhoaw;sefoasjefpiwaejf MINTY FRESGH

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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when debbie meets downer

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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